Sunday, September 03, 2006
It came without warning....I was driving home the other day and found myself smiling! It had been a long time since I’d had a smile on my face. During the last year, I’d watched Jake’s health decline and knew our journey would soon be coming to an end. Shortly before Jake’s passing I lost my mother to Alzheimer’s disease. A few weeks later Jake was gone. Needless to say, all this reflected on my face – I looked tired and pale, with eyes that hoped for a reprieve from all the pain and a spirit that searched for a reason to keep going.
So on that morning...the morning of “the smile”.... I asked myself what I was feeling, and the truth was I just felt GOOD! It was one of those lovely little moments when everything feels right in your world. The disconnection I’d felt during the previous months seemed far way, and I was floating on a nurturing cloud of love and support from people all over the world who knew the loneliness and grief I’d been struggling with.
And....I got a clear message from Jake, who told me to knock off the sad stuff and get out there and start living again! This was said kindly, but insistently, with eyes shining brightly and tail wagging.
So the journey continues.....